*DISCLAIMER FOR THE LADIES: I'm just keeping it real man. Please don't flame me for being honest...
SO... I was watching futbol with Cory this weekend on GolTV(think it was Real Madrid getting raped by Barcaleona) and during the half they played this infomercial. Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with "Brazilian Secret":
Alright... all I gotta say is, Damn man... this shit isnt right. My favorite aesthetically pleasing part of a woman is her ass.
Observe:
I mean tits are great but gimmie a girl with a nice ass and some pretty legs and I'm good to go son! Boobs are fun and all but I just never have been a titty man. So I really never hated much on the wonderbra. I mean, sure, it's a bit misleading. I've been there before and while I was disappointed it didn't matter much. This however... man... wtf! If I check out a girl and she has an ass that looks like these broads in the commercial, then I get home an ass drops I'm gonna be a bit more than disappointed.
Just one question...... What's so wrong with working out? I know people get self concsious about their appearance, especially you ladies, but damn, I'm drawing the line! If you don't have an ass like a Brazilian girl, tough shit. Take your flat booty ass to the gym and work out till you do(if it means that much to you). Don't LIE about it and wear these panties that make it look like you do. Ya feel me?
Now, in defense of the ladies, I will admit that society pressures women into fitting a certain ratio which for most, if not all of you, is damn near impossible. You grow up with Barbie who has proportions that are inconceivable. If a woman was really shaped like Barbie she'd probably toppled over her ridiuclous bust size! Then there's all those damn magazines, supermodels(who should really eat something in my humble opinion), celebrites and all this influx of bllshit on the TV trying to tell you how to look and then you forget how beautiful you actually are. Its rare... and I mean
REEEEEEAAAAALLLLLLLLYYYYYYYY RARE
that I meet a girl who actually knows she's hot. And I know a bunch of hot ass females. I don't think I have a single ugly girl friend(real talk). You give some of these chicks a compliment and they lament over how you're just being nice or exaggerating. It's ridiculus. Learn to take a compliment yo.
Listen up ladies... and dudes too... there's no such thing as the perfect woman. No such thing as the perfect man. People are inherently flawed physically and mentally. You can name anybody you want in the world, nobody is fine all the time. EVER. You think Angelina Jolie wakes up looking like she does on the cover of Vogue? With all those kids.... Jigga please...
So let's just keep it real. If you got a flat ass, flaunt your personality! Own that flat ass! Or go to the gym and shape it up. When did people get so damn lazy man?! It seems like America's solution to problems is to just lie about it and hope when the lights go out nobody notices....
Well I do America! I see through the facade! Down with the Brazilian Secret, Wonderbras, botox, gastro intestinal surgey(go on a diet.. damn!) Enzyte(Smiling Bob can EAT ME), Viagra, etc etc. When will we learn to accept oursevles as we are?
Ok, I'm donw ranting. It's been a blah day
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Excuse the type-os... it's late.. I'm tired... get over it : p
Sorry, what? I was distracted by the video.
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